Courage

Today God told me..."that all is well. All is going according to plan. Trust that there is a bigger picture. Trust that life is unfolding as it should."

When I think of the word courage, the first thing that comes to mind is the lion on Wizard of Oz who needed a new heart of courage.  Here he was a big tough lion who everyone should be afraid of, but he didn't have the confidence and courage to really be who he was.  

I guess I can compare myself to the lion these past few months.  I have lost confidence and courage in who I am and what I am supposed to be doing.  I know God is there.  I know God wants me to trust.  I know God does have a plan for my kids and I.  I know that all is going to be OK.  I just don't know when He is going to show this great plan of His and what this plan exactly is.

God gives us sooo many stories in the bible about courage.  Just off the top of my head I think of  Daniel, Jonah, Joseph, Moses, Noah, Esther, Ruth, Abraham, Hagar, Hosea, the list goes on!  Even when I was reading the story of Joseph and his brothers to my kids the other day, I had to smile and what Joseph said when his brothers came asking for food.  God planned for you to treat me as you did.  God knew that I would be the one to later help you, but if you hadn't done what you had, none of this would be.  

While reading that, I knew that it may not be months or even a year before I knew God's plan, but He does have a plan.  I took Joseph apx. 15 years to see God's plan!  And what a grand plan it was!

It takes courage to really be who you are on the inside.  You know you can't make everyone happy.  You know some people are not going to like you.  You know not everyone is going to agree with your decisions.  And you know people WILL judge you.  It takes courage to know all of those things and still be who you are, making decisions that are right for you and your family, making decisions that lead the life God wants you to live, and make decisions that are also right for others.  

Now, having said that, I have am still learning to live by those words.  I am working on my courage.  THere have been quite a few events in the past year that have taken courage.  I have also let others influence me enough to take away my confidence and courage.  I am going to take that back.  I made some big decisions this week that needed confidence in myself and trust in God that this was the path to proceed down.  I pondered and prayed 

and decided to trust this is what God wants...

1 Corinthians 16:13  Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.

1 Peter 3:13 - 14  ¹³ Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? ¹⁴But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats^[a]; do not be frightened.

Heavenly Father, give us courage today and every day to do Your will, to follow the path you have laid before us, and to trust in Your plans.  Five years ago today, we lost a dear friend because he had the courage to help others.  He is now with you and doing Your work in heaven watching over us.  Thank you for the blessing of his friendship.  THank you for strength, confidence and courage.  Help us to find it within ourselves to not cast judgment on others and give us the courage to carry out what you have planned for us.  I will continue to trust in You, lean on You, and turn to Your presence for peace and courage.  Thank you Father for all You have blessed us with.

In Your Name we pray, Amen

Delight

I delight to do thy will, O my God: yea, thy law is within my heart.  

Psalms 40:8

The unknown is always soooo difficult.  The unknown is where the words worry, doubt, anxious, nervous all come from.  I have faced these words quite a bit over the past year.  I probably faced them numerous times before but wasn't aware enough to recognize them.  A wise friend told me that when we are feeling these words, we are not feeling God.  These words and feelings come from Satan.  When we have these feelings and hear these words we need to cast them away.  Give them to God - He will take them from us.  It comes back to trusting and our Faith.  

Not an easy task all the time.  The knot forms in my stomach, the constant spinning goes around in my head, and the lump in my throat that contains the worry doesn't always just disappear.  But when I really try.  When I really focus on Peace, Joy, Happiness, and Delight, that lump does disappear.  The feeling is absolutely amazing!  That Peace that we can only fully receive when we have given our complete Trust and Faith in God is the most amazing feeling!!  

I chose the word delight because my wise friend had given me this word a few weeks back.  Last year she had given me the word BLISS, and this year she sees my world as DELIGHTFUL.   

Delight/Delightuful

High degree of gratification;  joy;  extreme satisfaction

Highly pleasing

As I was looking at the definition, I found it fitting that one of the synonyms for delight is BLESSED.  I love scaffolding my lessons in the classroom, and it's even more amazing when they naturally happen; I guess Blessed and Delight were meant to be together!

I will live my life to the highest degree of gratification!  Naturally, we are human so there will be tough days, but to lump it together with the word DELIGHT instead of the ugly words I mentioned earlier?  Talk about extreme satisfaction!  

I challenge you today to think about what it takes in your life to live to the highest degree of gratification?  What will bring your life extreme satisfaction? 

I will work on my list today and post tomorrow...Instead of the icky knot in my throat I have excited bubbles in my tummy! :) 

Heavenly Father, Thank You for this day.  I will continue working on giving you my worries and focusing on the Delight in my life.  I Thank You for all the delightful things you have given me.  Please shine that delight onto others.  Show us all of the gratification you have given us.  Amen 

Blessed

It's been months, but I really felt the urge to get back to my blog....When I opened up my account, I found this unfinished post - it was the day before my birthday.  Even though the timing doesn't quite fit now that it is four months later, I feel that it is a perfect place to begin....So, in italics you have what I began on April 19th; to follow, you will have what is written August 16th.

A year ago this week I made a huge decision that would change my life forever.  I didn't know the hows, whens, or wheres, but somehow the pieces all fell into place because I trusted God would take care of my children and myself. 
I turn 31 tomorrow.  I'm not one whose big on age - it's just a number - I really think I will remain 25 forever - but I do look at my age in years as markers on a timeline. 
18 - graduated
22 - married, started teaching job
25 - twins were born
28 - Little Man born
30 - separated, moved, started new job
31 - new beginning?  moving forward....not sure what 31 will bring yet, but I do know this for certain -
I am VERY BLESSED -
Things have really changed since I began this post.  A week after beginning this, I was officially divorced.  Two weeks after writing this, I was informed I would no longer be teaching in the district I had just spent the last year getting acquainted with.  All that I had put my heart into was now being taken from me.  The picture that I had finally started forming in my head of what this new beginning and life was going to look like for my kids and I was suddenly ripped away.  Now What?!?!?!  What could possibly be next??  Haven't we been through enough changes?  Wasn't this where You wanted us to start over?  Wasn't I supposed to make a difference and help others here?  Wasn't this supposed to be my new community?  What about my kids??  What do I tell them??  What about my students?  What about all I was going to do this summer and next year and continue to do in this classroom??  Why God???  The questions never stop....  The tears continue to pop up on me and surprise me at random times.  Why is this happening?  What am I going to do?  What are You trying to tell me???
31 - unknown - what I do know is that I trust in God and that is the only thing that will get me through.
My reading for June 27th from Sara Young's book Jesus Calling, the night that it was confirmed I would no longer be in the same place I was all last year, said this:
"Rest with Me a while.  You have journeyed up a steep, rugged path in recent days.  The way ahead is shrouded in uncertainty.  Look neither behind you nor before you.  Instead, focus your attention on Me, your constant Companion.  Trust that I will equip you fully for whatever awaits you on your journey.  I designed time to be a protection for you.  You couldn't bear to see all your life at once.  Though I am unlimited by time, it is in the present moment that I meet you.  Refresh yourself in My company, breathing deep draughts of My Presence.  The highest level of trust is to enjoy Me moment by moment. I am with you , watching over you wherever you go."
God was telling me once again to TRUST Him.  He gave me this last year for a reason.  He gave it to us as a small piece to help get us to the next step up the ladder of life.  He doesn't show us the whole ladder and each step above because we "can't bear to see all our life at once!"
We are Blessed.

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.  Ephesians 2:8  

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus
Philippians 4:19

There is soooo much to be thankful for.  God is Good.  We are blessed.  The words I tell myself when I begin to worry and get discouraged:  When you think you've got it bad, it could always be worse.  

Blessings!  :)