Trust

Strangely enough, Trust is coming after Fear....not sure where I'll go with this, but I will begin.

I received a great new devotional book from a friend for Christmas - Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.  I was AMAZED at how appropriate each reading has been for each day!  Here are a couple excerpts.

December 27th  I am preparing you for what is on the road ahead, just around the bend.  Take time to be still in My Presence so that I can strengthen you.  How much better it is to walk close to Me, depending on My strength and trusting ME in every situation.  
December 28th  I am your refuge and strength, an ever-present Help in trouble.  Therefore, you don't need to be afraid of anything - not even cataclysmic circumstances. As you grow closer to Me, I open your eyes to see more and more of My Presence all around you.  
December 29th  Trust Me with every fiber of your being!  What I can accomplish in and through  you is proportional to how much you depend on Me.  One aspect of this is the degree to which you trust Me in a crisis or major decision.  Consistently trusting in Me is vital to flourishing in My Presence.

This past August I faced one of those situations where the only thing I could do was trust in God.  My fear had the best of me at times though; it was hard to completely let go and trust with every fiber of my being!
Again a couple days ago, I had to let go and completely trust.  Both situations worked out AOK!  I had nothing to fear.  Why is it that we can't just LET GO AND LET GOD??  Why is it that we feel we need to control our life.  I've learned we can't.  We just have to trust.  It's difficult and sometimes it just doesn't make sense, but when we do, the results are the only way we'd want it.

Today I spent the entire day playing with my kids - well, besides picking up after them :) -   we did puzzles, played memory, went swimming, and even topped it off with ChuckECheese pizza, entertainment, games, and complete over stimulation.  I hadn't told them about the swimming or ChuckECheese, but I just told them to get their things on and get in the van.  They asked a few questions, but I just kept telling them to trust me - it will be fun - trust me.  After each event, the kids said "Thanks mom!"  Thank you for taking us swimming, Thank you for chuckecheese, thank you for this fun day.  What a warm feeling inside when your plans go well and you are even thanked for them! 
Do you think God feels warm inside when we trust Him to take care of us, lead us, and get us through days or circumstances that turn out just the way He planned??  Do you think He feels the joy inside when we show our appreciation with a Thank You?  If our kids trust in us to take care of them, make decisions in their best interest, and keep them safe, then why should we not do the same with our Father??  Trust Him and Thank Him. 
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11
*This is one of my absolute FAVORITE verses! *

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

Psalm 22:5 They cried to you and were saved; in you they trusted and were not disappointed.

Dear Lord, as difficult as it may seem sometimes, I need to put myself back into the position of a child trusting in their parents.  You are our Father, our Protector, our Provider.  Continue to strengthen my Faith each day and trust in Your words and actions.  You love me, You love us, You will take care of us and I trust that You will take care of my own children.  Thank You for continually showing me that You are there.  Please forgive me for my moments of doubt.  Continue to show others how much You are to be trusted.  I pray this in Your Holy Name.  Amen

Fear

I try my best to ignore fear.  But satan is tough - fear sneaks in and grabs ahold quick like.  It wraps itself around my stomach and twists.  Fear is not God.  Fear is satan.  I know this and have gotten better with it, but it still appears.

How many of us have experienced fear?  Is scared the same as fear?  Afraid?  A scary movie will create fear in me.  There is always the fear of an accident or injury that lingers in the back of my mind.  Fear of death and loss.  Fear of bugs and critters!  Even fear of the boogey man!

How does one move away from living in fear?  I have worked hard at doing that.  It's not easy for me!  My stomach still twists, but I know for certain that the times I am feeling fear, I am not feeling God.
Psalm 27:1
The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?
Psalm 56:3-4
When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?
There are times when we are scared or afraid.  When my children have a bad dream and come in during the middle of the night, they turn to me for snuggles and comfort.  When they are afraid of the dark, we give them a nightlight.  When they have a fear of a dog, we hold them and tell them it is OK, the dog won't get them.  Parent's protect their children from their fears the best way we know how.  We tell them it is OK and to trust us.  We are right there for them.  We take away their fear....

As we grow in our relationship with God, we also learn who to turn to when we are afraid.  God is the only one who can comfort us. 
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:13
For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
Dear Lord, Thank you for your words today.  My stomach has untwisted.  I feel Your strength.  It is in Your words I wash away my fear.  Please be with those who also need Your help.  Send them a nightlight.  Tell them to trust You.  I will continue to work hard on knowing You and trusting in You.  Thank You for being there...Amen

Peace

OK, another Christmas song....

Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night!
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!
Christ, the Saviour is born
Christ, the Saviour is born

Silent night, holy night
Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth "

Heavenly Peace....Peace...  How many end their Christmas Eve service lighting candles and singing this song?  I always feel so comforted and peaceful when singing this song.  Today I strive for feeling.  At moments I feel very at Peace, it is calming.  At other moments my stomach is churning and it is hard to feel Peacful.  I pray that this evening during church I am able to feel God's Peace. 

John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. 

How many times do we use the word peace?  World peace, peace and quiet, peaceful times, God's peace, peace of mind,etc.  How many prayers ask for peace?  How many times have we asked for world peace?  How many times have we asked for some peace of mind?  How many times has a mother asked for just a little bit of peace and quiet in the house?  How many times have have you asked for God's peace?  Within the past few months, I have added this request to my prayers most every day.  What better feeling than that of God's comfort and peace! 

I picture the peaceful evening of Jesus' birth - this song paints a picture so well for the mind!  Can you just imagine it??  Christ the Saviour is born - radiant beams from Thy holy face - with the dawn of redeeming grace - Jesus Lord at Thy birth... Ah, it brings warmth to my heart!  This is peace. 

Many things are out of our control.  Bringing world peace is pretty difficult to do by yourself.  Asking your children for peace and quiet is probably something you can't control either. :)  But allowing peace in your heart...Peace be with you....that is something you can allow.

2 Thessalonians 3:16
Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.
Philippians 4:7
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Numbers 6:25-26
the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace."

Heavenly Father, I ask for Your Peace.  For others, for myself, for those in strife, those in pain, for all.  THank You for Your goodness.  Thank you for Your comfort.  Thank You for Your Son, Jesus.  IT is a time to celebrate!  I lift my heart to You oh God - I embrace Your Peace.  Amen

Joy

Joy to The World the Lord has Come!  We've sang this or will sing this at least a few times this season.  Have you ever stopped to think about what the words really mean?

Joy to the World , the Lord is come!
Let earth receive her King;
Let every heart prepare Him room,
And Heaven and nature sing,
And Heaven and nature sing,
And Heaven, and Heaven, and nature sing.

Joy to the World, the Savior reigns!
Let men their songs employ;
While fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat, repeat, the sounding joy.

No more let sins and sorrows grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found,
Far as the curse is found,
Far as, far as, the curse is found.

He rules the world with truth and grace,
And makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders, wonders, of His love.

WOW!  Rejoice!  That is what we should do!  The Lord has come, The Savior Reigns!  No more let sins and sorrows grow!  Rejoice.  My stomach did a few loops this morning as I really read the lyrics to this song.  He rules the world with truth and grace.  And wonders of His love..... Is there a better reason to celebrate than for this reason alone??

I have cried my fair share of tears lately.  Then I ask for God's strength to just get me through the next day with smiles, laughter and hugs.  It works most of the time, but there are very weak moments.  I miss my kids terribly right now.  It's only been 36 hours!  I've been away from them longer than that before, why is this so hard???  Then I have to say the words a friend told me last night - rejoice in the positive!  You didn't have to travel for 26 hours!  This is a vacation for you!  You have time for yourself!  So I will rejoice in that and take advatage of it.  When my children return I will be renewed and healthier which in turn benefits us all!  I guess I should think of it as a win win.

As I sit and write this morning, I am listening to AMy Grant's Home for Christmas CD.  It has been my favorite for as long as I can remember.  I listen to it over and over each year.  Here is the link to a few of my favorites...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdLwZCprtkI  Breath of Heaven
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmF2rsDHOZc  Grown up Christmas List

ere If you get a chance, just you tube this CD.  The songs will pop up and all are soooo beautiful.

Well, it's time to start a new day.  I spose you may be wondering why the references to the martini?  How does that fit in with all of this.  Well, I think of our days as the ingredients or names of martinis.  Like I said, some are simple, some are more complicated.  Some require stirring, shaking, ice, or no ice.  Some require olives, lemons, twists, peppermints, mint, filberts, coffee beans, etc. for garnishes.  My life is like a martini; some days I use few ingredients while others I use the mother load!  Depending on the day and the martini, I choose my garnish.  So, I include recipes for martinis occassionally as they pop into my head or I come across an interesting one.  Enjoy...

Heavenly Father, thank you for this day and those to come.  Thank You for sending Your Son to save us.  He comes to make His BLESSINGS flow.  Thank You.  Please be with all who need to hear Your words in Joy to The World.  Let them rejoice!  Amen.

Psalm 100:1-2 
Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.

Lonliness

"Lonliness is a mask."  I have thought and thought about what that means.  I asked God to explain to me...this is what I came up with.

There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. 
There are times when we are physically alone.  Some of those times are great and needed, while others are very difficult and we wish we were anywhere but.  But we are never really "alone".  God is there.  Friends and family are a phone call away.  Where would we be without internet and cell phones?!?!  Being alone can be very healing.  It is how you choose to handle it.

Being lonely is more of a feeling.  Experiencing lonliness happens to all of us at different points in our lives.  We can experience lonliness for a loved one, the loss of something that once was, emotional lonliness, at times, spiritual lonliness, lonliness for those who are away or gone.  Lonliness in my mind is more difficult to handle than being alone. 

THe only thing I have found that works in dealing with lonliness is to pray, cry, and talk to family.  In my divorce care group, lonliness and being alone are all a part of the grieving process.  Each time we step back into the lonliness part of the cycle, it gets a bit easier. 

Last night I said good bye to my children for the next 8 days.  I was alone when I got home and it was only me.  I began to feel very lonely.  I picked up my book "Broken into Beautiful" by Gwen Smith.  I was reminded that I am never alone.

Where can I go from your Spirit?  WHere can I flee from your presence?  If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.  If I rise on the wings of dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.  Psalm 139:7-10

Gwen says God is inescapable.  HE loves you and He sees you.  He is available to help you face trials with a courage that is firmly rooted in His strength and power so others might be drawn to Him and know His grace.

Lord, I thank you for allowing me this "alone" time to heal.  I know you are by my side, I know my family and friends are right there also to keep me moving forward.  I will miss my children greatly, but I will use this time to get some things in order and be ready to be more clear and less stressed when my children return.  Please keep them safe in your arms and spread your love and comfort to others who are feeling lonely or are alone this Christmas.  Guide us to reach out to them and brighten their Christmas.  In Your name we pray, Amen

Family

I've been thinking a lot about family lately.  The word encompases soooo much!  You have your immediate family, kids, brothers, sisters, moms dads, grandmas grandpas, etc.  You have extended family.  There is your biological family.  There are your closest friends!  You have a work family, a church family, christian family, God's family, a community family.  To me family is that which envelopes you and looks out for you, a feeling of belonging, a feeling of comfort and safety. 

I have learned a lot about family the past few months.  I don't know where I would be without my family!  My mom and dad and brothers and sisters, friends - and you know who you are - and my kids!  I may start crying just writing about it...

Tonight my children leave for 8 days with their dad.  I'm a roller coaster.  This will be the first Christmas I will not watch the glimmer in their eyes on Christmas morning; I won't dress them up and take them to candlelight service to celebrate JEsus' birthday.  My heart aches, but at the same time, my heart aches for those who are dealing with other losses - new and old - in their lives over the holidays.  I know my kids will return to me to celebrate with our family.  I know I still have them to hold when they return. 

I'm going off course a bit, but my words are guiding me.  It's hard to compare death and divorce, but in so many ways they are the same.  They are both a loss.  A loss of what should have been.  A loss of hopes and dreams.  A loss of family.

I am very fortunate God has supported me through my "family".  I will spend the next 8 days close to their sides.  Christmas Eve will still be a ham dinner, evening church, and smiles with mom and dad, brother "sister" and niece....Christmas Day will be with "family" who is just as much a part of my life...We will all move forward; and we will celebrate.  Celebrate Jesus!  Celebrate our Faith and Freedoms!  Celebrate Forgiveness!  And Celebrate Family!  

This verse grabbed me this morning...
Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again:  rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:4-7 NIV

Thank you family.... I love you!  Merry Christmas!

Sorry

For some reason I am supposed to talk about this word today.  You hear sorry many times, but what does it really mean and is it what it means or how one takes it when said? 
Websters definition: : feeling sorrow, regret, or penitence : mournful, sad : inspiring sorrow, pity, scorn, or ridicule : pitiful
I teach my children and my students that if you accidentally do something to another person, make sure to say you are sorry - then they know it was an accident and you didn't mean to - if you don't apologize, it seems that the incident was done on purpose and therfore you are probably bullying.
We say sorry to people when we have hurt them.
We say sorry to others when there has been a loss and we are at a loss of words to comfort.
We use sorry sarcastically with a rise in tone when we are frustrated.
Sorry is used as an apology.
Are sorry and empathy related?
How does forgiveness fit in?  How about Remorse and Repent?  All words related to Sorry....

I'd be interested to hear what others have to say on this.  A wise counselor has always told me there is a big difference between being remorsefull and repentive.  

Today I watched a video presentation of Dr. Todd Whitaker.  He was very inspirational.  One notable quote he said was that an apology is a very powerful thing.  He used examples of people who knew how to apologize and then those who used the sarcastic "SOOOORRRRYY..." (can you hear those children in your head?  Maybe adults too?  :)) and didn't know how to apologize.  Can we teach empathy?  Is it a learned behavior or is it something you have or don't have?  Is it best taught through modeling?  So many thoughts....

James 5:16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.   

Dear Lord, I am sorry for not living my life completely to your standards.  We say we can only do our best, but I know in that best, there is always better.  Guide me in forgiveness, empathy, remorse, repenting, apologies, and regret so that I may know the difference between them and clear my head to think of each as you do.  Please help others to do the same.  Help me teach and model to children sincerety and empathy.  Thank you for the clearness you have shown.  I continue to lift my hands and heart to you so that I may follow the path you have called for me.  In Your Name, Amen

Bliss

A word a great friend used to describe life....BLISSfull : complete happiness....Now we all know we wouldn't describe each day as blissfull.  But what if we woke up each morning and told ourselves today I will be filled with BLISS?!?!?  Do you think we could change the days events by just starting the day with that?  I tore this quote from a magazine a few months ago  Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.  I can choose which it shall be.  Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet.  I have just one day, today, and I am going to be happy in it.  Groucho Marx  Hmmmmm, I have to admit I have not been living by this quote each day.  It takes events to make me happy lately.  Only this morning my eyes were reopened and my heart reminded that it is my choice as to how I want to face the day. 
My twins have been working at filling buckets in school - they have been talking about things that they can do to fill others buckets - kind words, kind deads, etc.  Last night they filled my bucket!  Pj's on with no arguing, table set without me asking, plates cleaned during supper, table cleared without a second request!  To bed and sleeping by 8:00!!  THis morning they woke, got dressed, teeth brushed, breakfast eaten, in the van and out the door by 7:00 without any yelling or arguing!  It was amazing!  My bucket was filled!!  I was filled with bliss!  Now was this me or events that made me happy??  It's what you choose to believe... I believe my decision to choose happiness led to the events of my children's behavior.  If I can continue to model to them happiness, consistency, and love, then my hopes are they will recipricate and hopefully follow those actions. 
If you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you will say to your
     mountain, "MOVE!" and it  WILL move... and NOTHING will be
     impossible for YOU!  - Matthew 17:20
James 5:13
Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise.                                                                                     
I could continue writing, but the day must begin and there are young people awaiting a blissful day! 

Dear Heavenly Father, bless all who need Your BLISS today.  I thank You for the smile on my face this morning.  I thank You for my children and all they are learning about kindness to others.  Please guide me and others today as we choose to show happiness, respect, and love to others.  Be with those who need their buckets filled.  In Your Name, Amen.

A Belief

We all have different beliefs.  Some believe in God, some believe in hard work, some believe in having fun, some believe in family, etc. etc.  You can believe what you like, I personally believe in FAITH.  My faith in God, my faith in others, my faith in family and friends, my faith in life. 
This last year has not been an easy one for me.  A year and 4 months ago, I met a friend who ended up changing my life.  Together we have worked at healing eachother through a friendship brought together by God. 

I decided to start my Stacitini blog as a way to work through my healing and say my thoughts and prayers out loud.  I have always encouraged others to write when their mind is spinning or the thoughts and words just won't come together, yet I have never really taken my own advice.  Well, here I am - starting a new chapter I guess you'd say. 

I am committing myself to write each and every day (I have access to a computer) :), to share and heal with others who may relate to the martini and life analogy,  to spread God's word and be used as a disciple of His work. 

I may not say it right, grammatically correct, politically correct, or just plain old correct, but I will do my best to just say it. 

Today I turn over my words and writing of Stacitini to God.  Today I begin the new chapter in life that may just help others someway or somehow.

I will close with a short prayer and one of my favorite versus:  Jeremiah 29: 11 - 14  For I know the plans I have for you, declares, the LORD, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you.  You will seek me and find me.  When you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you, declares the LORD , and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the LORD, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.

Heavenly Father, continue to guide me through each and every day.  Please be with all those who need Your strength.  I pray for peace and strength and love from You Lord God.  Please give me the words to speak truth and love in this new chapter.  I know You continue to watch over all who look to You and even those who have not been able to find You.  Continue to watch over my children - show them warmth and happiness.  Give us the OK to cry when we need to and laugh when we need to.  Heal and protect those who are ill and weak.  Shine Your light over us during the Christmas season.  Thank You for always being there.  In Your Holy Name we pray, Amen.